we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
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I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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