I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
