He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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