Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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