plz talk dirty to me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
