i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
