He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
