Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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