I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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