Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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