It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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