Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
