if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
