So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
