We named our party play list daddy issues
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
