I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
