i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
