I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
