Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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