You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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