erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
