I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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