Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
