How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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