Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
