respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
