Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
