they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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