is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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