I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
