Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
