I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
