I'm so fucking centered right now
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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