I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
