I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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