It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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