I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
