either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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