And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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