Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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