I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
