If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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