I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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