At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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