Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
