at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
