she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
