It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
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I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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