Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
