Already got asked if we're dating
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
