Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
