So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
