so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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