He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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