Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
