How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
